lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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