I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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