I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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