Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
my liver is dry heaving
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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