Did you just see the Batmobile???
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
