he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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