im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
