Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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