I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
