New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize