Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
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