She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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