did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
