Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
