So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Enjoy the penises
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
