508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Life without a bra equals bliss.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
