walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize