It's like a parade of train wrecks.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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