How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
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I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize