He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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