Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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