the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
