so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
wow bdsm is so cute
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize