if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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