ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
