I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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