My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
