She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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