The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
