I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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