I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
