he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
