dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
