Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
