I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize