can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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