if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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