your thong is hanging out like whoa
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
