so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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