Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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