When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
