Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
