Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
