nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
