I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
