You work out of a Hotel?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
