Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
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