so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
nutella sex= disaster
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
