I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
