i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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