I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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