break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
