Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
