You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
