If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
