you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Randomize
