hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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