i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
