the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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