If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
