he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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